trailertrash Posted May 26, 2009 Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 I've applied all the advice and hits/tips and I sincerely thank you all for the help.This is the draft I think is best suited to get me a place in the selections for our club competition.I'd appreciate any further comments and fine tuning you may think would help.Again, thank you all.Andrew.http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?higyw3mimgj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Cox Posted May 26, 2009 Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 ANDREW typo you should have used a comma instead of a dashgas-shootingsand maybe one other but i could not stop show to see maybe a mistaken capital instead of lower casefor demo purposes i think it would have been appropriate to give us control of the show ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d67 Posted May 26, 2009 Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 for demo purposes i think it would have been appropriate to give us control of the showAs Ken...Just concerning the initial text : too quick, initates instead of initiates and spaces missing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 I fixed those grammar mistakes guys, and the scroll timings. Thank you. Its amazing what we miss. I should have left the mouse and keyboard controls available till I was finished, I will in future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Cox Posted May 26, 2009 Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 ANDREWi have pointed out time and time again that this is not the final judging point and when people put up shows for review it is so easy to enable the controls so we might give a more thorough answer.ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jfa Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Andrew,You have improved the show with the use of the image inserts and the end titles work well. I also think the pace is better overall.However there are still a number of typing errors in the introduction, (mainly spaces needed between words), also Kens point on the comma instead of a dash in gas-shootings is still there.I was not able to stop the AV to list the errors for you, and I agree with Patrick the introduction is a little quick.The sign over the gate is still hard to read but that is your choice.One more thing the second line of the caption on the gas chambers needs to be centred.These may appear to be small things but are the sort of points a club judge will seizes upon in club competition which you have indicated you will submit this show to.All in all your well on your way, well done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjdnzl Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Yes, I agree with doing a correction on 'gas-shootings'. A dash used like that is actually a hyphen, joining gas and shootings as a composite word. I think what you mean is gas, shootings, etc.Also nit-picking somewhat, the final slide 'never again' could stay on the screen for several seconds, it is too quick as it is for my taste.An idea you might tuck away if you ever need it again; where you have a problem with contrast, as with the opening slide where the writing is lost against the background, is to shoot it from the other side, against, hopefully, sky, and then reverse the image to make it right-reading. You could then superimpose it on another authentic background if you want, so it is more readable.Otherwise a very powerful show indeed, evoking an emotional response in me. It well illustrates the latent raw power of photography. Congratulations.Colin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 I've fixed the issues mentioned above [i hope] and I made a new exe with keyboard controls.I hope I got it right, Im not familiar with the controls thingy yet. Here's the next draft.http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?kj2mzznwhzwAndrew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Cox Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Andrewnit pick time -- I think your comma placement overall is still off - is there any way you can insert the text portions into Word and run grammar/spell check -- i think you will see more errors.ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Hehehe Never thought of that Ken. Damn you guys are good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Cox Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 "I think is best suited to get me a place in the selections for our club competition."WELL WE NOT ONLY WANT TO HELP YOU GET IN WE WANT A WINNER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esc Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Hi Andrew!Ken says we will have you win. So here is my contribution:1 Add a black page to start the show and also at the end. As for now the show finish quite abrupt. 2 Tick "When show ends keep last slide in show on screen" in Project options.3 Add time for the closing credits for photograher and music.4 Picture "Gas Chamber #1 and Crematoria #1": Fade out text before zooming. Center line two. 5 As for text corrections http://www.mediafire.com/?4gm2zi1dgj2 http://www.mediafire.com/?yuwvgznlwrn6 In my language we use roman figures - Auschwitz I not Auschwitz 1.7 Centered text.IMHO /LennartPSOn the subjec of Auschwitzhttp://www.spiegel.de/international/europe...,621720,00.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jfa Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 WELL WE NOT ONLY WANT TO HELP YOU GET IN WE WANT A WINNERNo pressure Andrew!! Follow Lennarts suggestions above and you have a winner regardless of the club results.PS Here is a quick shot of the improvement made by moving the second line of text to the center on the Gas Chamber image. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 OK, Update:1. Added a blank slide at the start and end to ease into the show. [2 secs each]2. Ticked the keep last slide on screen box.3. Added 2 secs to the credits slide [Photographer and music]4. Faded text before zoom and centered text.5. Corrected Grammar in the intro slide.6. Changed to Roman Numerals.7. Centered text via Grids in PS.http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?n1zdngezryz27.2 Meg57 Slides9mins 20 secs.This is a huge learning curve, but worth every minute.Andrew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Cox Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 whos gates - think there is a mistake there ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjdnzl Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 Yet another nitpick; crematoria is plural, crematorium is singular. I think the text should read 'Crematorium 1' These fine points are what will sink the show if not fixed, I believe.Colin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 I fixed the crematorium reference. I actually wondered about that myself.Thanks Colin.Ken, Can you be more specific please. I dont know where your directing me on this one, and if there's an error I need to find it.Andrew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davegee Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 I think that Ken wants "whose gates".DaveG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjdnzl Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 Me again. This show haunts me. I am from New Zealand, and our history is both very short and devoid of tragedy on this scale. Yet, this show has a powerful effect on my mood. The camera is incomparable when conveying drama, nothing else comes close, except maybe music; when powerful imagery is coupled with powerful music, the effect on the viewer is dramatic and unforgettable.This show is unforgettable.There are one or two small points about the text which for me need fixing so as not to interrupt the mood, as follows:In the scrolling preamble,line 1 reads '1940,Reichfuhrer' I would suggest removing the comma and inserting a space to make it the same style as '1940 Rudolph Hoess' a few lines below.Line 3 has 'initiates', should be 'initiated' to maintain past tense with the rest of the narrative.Line 9 has 'whos', correct spelling is 'whose' - but 'whose' is a pronoun, that is it should refer to a person. Here it is referring to Auchwitz. A better sentence construction is 'where the gates carry ...'. or maybe rewrite the whole sentence to remove 'whose'.After Áuchwitz II, line 3 has 'gas,shootings', but needs a space after the comma, 'gas, shootings'.Line 8 has 'crematoria'. If there is more than one, ok, otherwise it should be 'crematorium'.The next slide of the swastika is overlaid with words in a completely different font to the previous scrolling intro, and I found the much bolder non-serif font to be rather unpleasant after the serif font used earlier. You might consider changing to the same font as the intro.lastly, the credits slide at the end is too quick; it needs to be about twice as long, and to do a slow fade to black. Set PTE to keep the black slide until Esc is pressed, as I find the abrupt return to the desktop jarring after the sombre show. (Project Options/Main/ and tick When show ends keep last slide in show on screen)The above offered in good faith,Colin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 I think that Ken wants "who's gates".DaveGAAAAHHHH! I should have seen that. Great call Ken and DaveG. Fixed.Andrew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 OK, This thing is haunting me to. I keep finding errors. I'll set about the list now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjdnzl Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 Apologies about the spelling of Auschwitz etc., too late at night!!Colin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 Fixed the text and the grammar. I hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted May 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 No worries Colin, I'm more than grateful for the help.I've changed the font to a standard font as you suggest, and it does look better. I do love those empty fonts tho. I just have the timing on the 'credits' slide to fix and then a cup of tea is in order. I faded the credit slide also having increased its time on screen.Andrew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Cox Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 we will make this baby into a winner yet -- when did you say the test is -- 2010 ? ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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